“How much more God?”
My question in a season of pain.
It began after Thanksgiving last year. Life Groups had winded down, the project of my life was complete and I was left with- ? The pain had started in Spring of last year, but was sporadic. A gas bubble here and there. Perhaps I ate too much? Maybe I’m becoming lactose intolerant? But noooo, I had four different ailments and my Digestive system was shutting me down. Taking me out - AGAIN. Really?
Nope, not this girl!
My husband asked the question, “Could this be an attack of the enemy?” Maybe.
Others asked, “Could God just be slowing you down?” Perhaps.
And in my weakest moments even I asked, “God is this the end for me?”
“No Daughter, I have too much for you to do yet.”
“So I have to suffer?”
“For a time, but remember that I am with you. When you are weak, I am strong.”
“Yes, Lord.”
Trudging through a winter season is no fun. Add pain to the mix and you feel like your trudging through a snow storm with no coat.
So what did I do? I praised Him, I worshipped Him and I prayed.
“Father, I am Your servant, let your will be done.”
If I could be transparent, this is my most difficult prayer. While it’s easy to say I trust You God, the actual trusting part is a tad bit harder.
Complete dependence is never easy, is it? I mean we are surrounded with slogans like “Just Do It” and “Be You”, so giving everything to the Lord and truly giving Him all of your trust can be a challenge.
But can I share, there is so much freedom in this action! For example:
Worship and Praise releases all of your burdens to the One who can handle them. In a moment of fear, I am saying: I’m giving this to You God. You have been faithful in the past and I trust You to be faithful in the future. I give You praise for all that You are and all that You will do.
Praying and trusting the Lord allows you to let go of the burden. No longer does the fear and worry crumple you up like a discarded piece of paper.
Every challenge is like a hill to climb. Going up is hard, but when you reach the top you experience the exhileration from the beauty of the climb. Then on the other side, your faith jar fills as You realize the story of His provision. (PS- Write down these stories, they will sustain you in the future.)
So today, I am on the other side. Jehovah Rapha has healed me once again. And while I have a long road ahead of me without any promise of longevity, I have this promise from our Almighty God:
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
And so He will.
Father, thank You for Your promises! I know I am not promised forever, but I am promised Your Presence, Your strength and Your healing. And while I am not promised tomorrow, I am promised today. So today is where I stand and I stand firm in Your righteous right Hand. I choose Joy as I worship You, the One who is forever faithful. Thank You for the healing that will get me through today Father! I give myself to You, the Perfecter of My Faith.
Your Daughter
In Jesus’ Name
AMEN